Bored. . . .

. . . here I sit at work waiting on the network to get it's head out of it's arse and process my file. 

I could get a top of the line PC at work and I'd still be sitting here with my thumb up my own arse with nothing to do.

I can't even open up MS Excel or Interent Explorer as that will interfere with the operation of MS Access I have running.  Hell I had force MS Outlook to close.

So here I sit unable to do anything else.

3rd Grade Reading. . . . .

. . . . .in K and 1st S would read when asked w/o any problems.  In 2nd he'd read, but reluctantly.  Now by 3rd it's like pulling teeth to get him to read anything longer than a Dr. Seuss book.

So, when the first book order came home I was reluctant to purchase anything.  However, the boy begged for the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series.  He hadn't finished book one last Spring before it had to be returned to the school library.  No problem - $24 for 4 books didn't seem too bad considering R wants to read them as well.  Of course I'll be reading them too.

S also wanted "39 Clues" and the Percy Jackson series.  Luckily Grandma had purchased the Percy Jackson books and let us have them.  I've read the first and it was pretty good.  Now to just get the boy interested.

As for "39 Clues" I found Book One at the KC Library and checked it out.  He seemed excited at first, but still can't get him to read it.  Glad I didn't spend the $69 to get the 10 book package from Scholastic.

I guess I just need to take the boy to the local library and have him check out some chapter books he's interested in and will actually read. 

Little saddened by the thought that S doesn't enjoy reading.  I remember my mom and I both reading books and talking about them when I was this age.....I was just hoping we could do the same.  However, it looks like T will be my reader just gotta give it a few years.

Family Photo - FINALLY!!

L-R:  R, T, me, K, A, and S

S, T, R and Baby A

I always thought I was . . .

. . . technically savey.  I mean I got our Wii hooked up to our ATT router/modem and we're now watching Netflix via that.

However, a couple of weeks ago my mother bought us a BluRay player.  This damn thing has all the bells and wistles....and yes, it's WiFi ready and is pre-programed to stream Hulu, NetFlix and others.

Trying to get it hooked up to our WiFi was interesting.  I'd tried various things - but nothing seemed to work.  Remind you I was doing this in the evenings after the kids had gone to bed.

Took K calling ATT getting some info, registering the product at Sony, registering the product w/Netflix, and inputting the code from Netflix on the BluRay player when prompted to get everything up and running.  Once again, advantages to having K home w/the kiddo(s).

Anyhoo - I'm in love.  I can now fold laundry in our bedroom and watch old episodes of Stargate SG-1, or catch-up on missed episodes of Bones.  At this point our bedroom is the cleanest place in the whole house....not sure if I should be proud or embarassed.  ;)

First packet of paper work. . . .

. . . . arrived on Friday - from the St of Mo.  So we took Baby A to the park to play and K and I filled it out.  Really I filled it out - K just signed here and there and gave me his SSN when needed.  It's going out in the mail today.  I have a feeling we make to much to get any free services - which is going to suck because we can't afford to pay for his treatment.  Well we can - be we'd have to go into some serious debt.  Which we'll do if we have to, but we're "this close" to being debt free.  By Jan 2012 we would've had K's grandparents paid off, and the 2 remaining 401(k) loans.  I know we can take out a hardship w/drawal from my 401(k) but there's hardly anything in there now.

I just keep telling myself - get him services, then we'll worry about how to pay for them.

It's going to be a looooong journey

T was diagnosed a week ago with PDD-NOS and ADHD.  We saw his regular Ped on Tues and got a prescription for the lowest dose of Metadate (10mg).  We also requested he be tested for Lead, and Doc recommend a thyroid test as well.

We're on day 2 of the meds - not sure if it's made a difference in his behavior since he's been at school all day, but hopefully by the weekend we'll be able to see a difference.  Do have to note that when I was talking to K on my way home last night from work T was in the background and was talking up a storm.  He always talks, but he seemed to talk with more ease - like he didn't have to search a scattered brain for the right word(s).

We're going in early Friday to have his blood test for the Lead and Thyroid.  Also having Baby A tested for Lead as well since she still puts anything and everything in her mouth.  Should be fun morning - getting all the kids to Children's Mercy at 7am when the outpatient lab opens to have blood drawn.  S is having blood drawn to do Tree Nut sensitivity test.

Feel good about the ADHD and such - but still feel overwhelmed with all the info out there on PDD-NOS and autism in general.  I've been totally scattered brained at work since last Thursday so today and tomorrow I have the day off to organize all the info, and basically organize our life.  Hopefully 4 days is enough to get us enough organized so I don't feel too stressed and can re-focus on work when I'm at work.

Am I the only one???

Maybe I'm reading too much into things, but the more I read about PDD-NOS the more I believe I have it.

K and I have been reading the "100 Day Kit" from Autism Speaks. http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/family_services/100_day_kit.php

Within this document there's a page (Page 16 of the .pdf) that states the strengths.  Scarily all but one I have (the artistic ability).  Then there's the "Social Symptoms" (pg 13 of the .pdf) - OMG, that's me again.

I know there's a genetic link, and I wonder if my parents ever noticed?  Maybe because I was blessed with a strong will and independence I was able to compensate for my short-comings?

How many others are out there that are undiagnoised, but are functioning members of society?

Maybe we are the norm, and those that were the norm are now the abnormality?

Our new journey into Autism

Last Thursday T was diagnoised as ADHD and Pervasive Development Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (aka PDD-NOS).  The ADHD we kinda suspected and we can deal with that - have been dealing with it for the last 5yrs with S.

However, PDD-NOS (a condition on the autism spectrum) was not what we were expecting.
http://www.autismspeaks.org/navigating/pdd_nos.php

Searching the internet doesn't help either - soooo much information it makes one feel overwhelmed and that there's no hope.

However, I have a wonderful husband and father who is researching and calling everyone he can to get T the services he needs.  K was hoping to re-join the work force this Fall, but due to T's diagnoises he's going to wait until next Fall - we assume by then everything should be under control.

I must confess that I cry a little each day - wondering how such a sweet, adorable and loving boy could have this.  Why him?  I'm also mourning the loss of what I dreamed he would be like when he grew-up.  I'm not saying it still isn't possible - but it's a long road filled with obstacles that he may or may not over come.

Two down....one more to go

Today was not only the first day of school, it was the first day of Kindergarten for T.

I was nervous and anxious the whole day when S started Kindergarten, but with T I actually cried. 

All day I've been trying to figure this out, and I've come to the following conclusion:

S has ADHD, and I think I was more worried how he would do in a new school, etc than anything.  With T though - he's so far behind and immature for his age (he's one of the youngest) compared to his peers I just wanted today to be a happy day.

So far so good.  Both boys had a good day.  Only time will tell

He's as Asshole. . .

. . . an inconsiderate moronic asshole.  No, not my sweet attentive husband....my ex-H, aka DSSD (dip-shit sperm donor).

This weekend was his weekend with S.  However, MO was having their tax-free weekend and I wanted to take S back-to-school shopping on Friday night I requested we exchange Saturday morning.  He agreed.

No mind you he lives in Lawrence, KS and we live in Raytown, MO - about 50 miles.  There's no good "meet in the middle" spot so on Friday we usually do the one closer to him (DeSoto), and on Sunday we usually do the one closer to me (Woodland Rd).  Well Saturday he drive 3/4 of the way to meet K with S & R at the Hobby Store.

SO - trying to be fair and nice I text him (the only way he'll communicate with me) 7pm at DeSoto on Sunday?  He agrees.  Well it was pretty hot and the a/c in the car only works so-so, plus construction detour, etc so I texted him Sunday mid-morning asking if we could change it to 7:30pm still at DeSoto.  He agrees.

As I'm leaving the house at 7pm to meet him at 7:30pm I get a text stating "we're here".  I of course respond - well, since we were meeting at 7:30 I'm just leaving the house.  Fine whatever - they can wait on me for once.  Plus there's McD's there so if need be they can get the boy something to eat.

As I'm driving - delayed by the detour (stupid sink hole in the highway) - and almost to DeSoto I get another text telling me they're in the shade at Wendy's.  Wendy's????  WTF - do not tell me they went to Woodland Rd.  Text and ask - and lo and behold yes they are at Woodland Rd.

I don't even respond, take the next exit and turn around.  DSSD then calls wondering when I'll be there.  I polietly mention that since we were meeting at 7:30pm in DeSoto that that is where I was....but I have turned around and headed back to Woodland Rd (which is 6 miles from DeSoto).

So I got to spend an extra 15 minutes driving to get the boy last night 'cause that shit head can't remember WTF is going on.  Once again proof from the Universe that us being divorced is a good thing.

I'm soooo burnt out on work. . . . .

. . . .and my life.  I haven't had more than a day off since the last 2wks in December 2009.  Even then I probably shouldn't have taken those 2 weeks 'cause I worked my ass off all January (50-60/hr weeks).

Even when I do get home at a decent hour there's sooo much to do there that I don't have the mental capacity left after working all day to make a list and get it done.  I shit you not we have over 4wks worth of clean laundry just in piles in the spare bedroom - it's embarassing.

What sucks is my lack of motivation is what is 'causing me now to work longer hours.  I just can't focus on the task at hand.  Even as I mark things off my list of things "to do" - there's still another list forming in my head.  It's a vicious circle and I really wish it would form into a triangle or square or something so I knew there was a end in sight.

Could my lack of motivation be depression?  Don't know and probably won't until the end of August when I can finally take some time off and get myself to the doctor.

Back to work now - and yes work, and not surfing the internet (well at least for a couple of hours).

Fast Food Gods must hate me. . . .

. . . . or just love f-ing w/me.

Ever since we moved to the Big City almost 3 years ago about 80% of the time I go get Fast Food something goes wrong.  It's not one particular place, time, order, etc.....it's just me.  K can go and get stuff, and as long as I'm not there nothing ever goes wrong.  Oddly we never ever have a problem with having Pizza delivered - go figure.

I seriously never had this problem in Larryville or Smallsville.  Could it just be the Big City?  Does their service suck that bad?  There's a million ppl here and these places can't find decent help?!?!?

Now that I think about it I've had problems at regular resturants as well - slow service, out of shit, you name it.  Once again all in the Big City.

At this point I'm taking this as a sign that we no longer need fast food in our lives, and we've cut back to once - maybe twice a week.  I personally would love to take this as a sign that we need to move back to smallville - but that's not an option now.

Been doing pretty good and on the average we've been sticking to the 1-2 times per week.  I'm just hoping our checking account balance reflects this change in habit soon.

UPDATE: My Coke Addition

http://jhawker-fan.blogspot.com/2010/04/confession-im-addicted-to-coke.html

Well the last time I tried to quit I didn't do too good.  Fell of the wagon and over-induldged myself.  Didn't help that Wally World has a 6-pack of 24 oz bottles on sale for $3.00 - yes, $ .50 per bottle!!!

The end of June we decided it was time to get serious about no fast food, and I was to give up my beloved Coke.  K gave up taking the kids to lunch at McD's, BK, etc during the week.  I have not had a regular coke since then....4 whole weeks.  Weeks 1, 2 and even 3 were no problem...however, this last weekend and continuing into this week I've been Jonesing for a Coke baaaaaaaadddddd.

So today I broke down, went to CVS, and bought myself a Diet Coke w/Lime.  This is only the 3rd carbinated beverage I've had since going cold turkey.  Needless to say I now have a headache, and am regretting my decision.

Then again it could just be sugar overload from the Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie!!  OMG those things are sooo good!!  Definitely better than my yogurt sitting in the fridge at work.

I'm hoping if I can channel my stuborn side to stick to the "no coke" rule, maybe - just maybe, I'll be able to stick to my diet and no fast food rule.

Strong-willed Child . . . . .

 . . . . my ass.

My dear sweet daughter is the most stubborn intelligent independent child I have ever met.  For those that know me yes, she's my daughter I know where she gets it - but still, my mother says I was never as awful as she.

Last night she threw a temper tantrum for 30 minutes.  She broke the rules and she was pissed.  She knows she needs to stay in bed - no talking, screaming, playing or jumping - or she loses her movie.  She lost her movie.

Since she wouldn't stay in bed after her initial punishment for getting out of bed I removed a toy everytime she got out of bed.  By the end of the night there were no toys left in her room and I had filled two laundry baskets.  I told her if she was quiet and stayed in bed for 5 minutes she could earn one toy back - her bear, but the rest she would get tomorrow.

All of this started at 8:45pm last night.  I think I finally got to give her her bear back around 9:20pm.

So this morning Daddy gets to be the hero and give her toys back......however, every time she throws a screaming crying fit he's to take a toy.  It'll probably take a week before we start to see any improvement - just hope we can hold out that long.

Apparently the universe has a very sick sense of humor....the "mother's curse" - I hope you have a child that's as bad as you - didn't quiet work.  My mother has told me more than once that I got the child that my brother should have.  Also, I now understand why my mother always said "if I had your brother first there would be no more".....lucky for me he's the youngest.

Zucchini, zucchini and more zucchini

For the past 3wks we've been getting zucchini from CSA.  I'm not much of a squash fan, but we have grilled/broiled some and had it with spaghetti.  However I can only each so much.  So this lead me to the internet to start my quest for a zucchini bread recipe.  Luckily I'm smart and I went straight to Food Network and Paula Deen.  I was not disappointed - she did indeed have a Zucchini Bread Recipe.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/zucchini-bread-recipe/index.html

I've made this twice and both times it's turned out fantastic.  Do need to point out some of the small modifications I made based upon the comments:
1.  Did not add the water as I did not thoroughly dry the shredded zucchini
2.  Reduced the total sugar to 2.5 cups with 1.5 cups being white sugar and 1 cup brown sugar
3.  Thoroughly spray your pan w/PAM or other non-stick spray
4.  I put in 3 cups of shredded zucchini
5.  Added 1/2-1 teaspoon of Baking Powder (in addition to the baking soda)
6.  Added 1/2-1 teaspoon of Ground Ginger
7.  Added a tablespoon of vanilla extract

Did want to point out that this is a very dense bread, and it should be about the consistancy of chocolate chip cookie dough.  If it's too runny add some flour.  Also, I did end up baking mine at 335 for 90 minutes the 2nd time around.  The first time I followed the recipe and the top did sink in a bit - not this last time.

I will say that before I even added the zucchini I kept thinking of all the things I could add instead - dried cranberries, dried apricots, etc.  Heck it would be good w/o anything added.  Definitely will keep this recipe around - especially since K actually ate some this last time and couldn't believe how good it was.  We shared two slices - one w/butter and one w/cream cheese....it was a toss up which was better. 

Bonus:  this is what the kids had for breakfast this morning w/sausage and now one loaf is almost gone.  :D

Aaaahhhh - 20yr HS Reunion

The class of 1990 at EHS always seems to do low key reunions.  Out of the 3 "events" schedule we only made it to one:  the Picnic.  Wasn't sure I wanted to go - I mean I haven't remaind in contact with anyone from HS.  So why should I go?

Because if I didn't go then I wouldn't be abiding by my own new rule:  be a better friend.  I decided about a month ago that I've been a pretty shitty friend to what friends I do have and I'm striving to be a better friend.  I may not physically get to see them, but I vowed I would send more e-mails and call more often.

Those that did make it to the Picnic it was great to see, chat, discuss laundry, our crazy kids, siblings, etc.

Did I rekindle any lasting friendships?  I doubt it.  But will I try to keep in touch more?  Definitely.

Community Supported Agriculture (CSA)

My employer partnered with Good Natured Family Farms for a Community Supported Agriculture (http://www.goodnatured.net/) to provide organic meats, fruits, veggies, dairy, grains, and eggs delivered to work weekly at $21/wk.  (Payroll deduction of course.)  They started this the first week of June and runs through the end of September.

We save 5-30% each week - plus it's delivered.  I love the fact that everything is organic - even the meat.  Bonus is we're getting produce we wouldn't purposefully buy at the store:  yellow squash, zucchini, egg plant, swiss chard to name a few.  The unexpected bonus is we've added new meals to our rotation - and K and I have started to enjoy cooking/prepping dinner together.

What's even more amazing is the kids know when it's Tuesday - 'cause I bring home food.  If there's cheese we cut it up into cubes/sticks and start snacking.  This last Tues. we got peaches....we ate 1/2 of them that night.  I had forgotten how good fresh peaches are.  K even got T hooked on slice tomatoes with a little salt on them.

Now this is not a regional nor midwest thing - but it's federally sponsored.  Search Community Supported Agriculture and you'll get a ton of hits.  I strongly urge you to recommend this great opportunity to your employer as it's a great way to give back to your community, and do something good for yourself!

Life with out Cable....and basic TV

In an desperate attempt to find some extra $$ to support his R/C Car racing habit, K decided to turn off cable the end of April.  We spent $40 to hook up the Wii to the internet, and now only pay $10/mo for Netflix rather than $100 for cable (aka Dish Network).

We did end up buying 2 cheap DVD players for the kids so they could at least watch DVD's in their rooms.  (One for the boys since they share a room, and one for A.)  And eventually we'll purchase a high-def TV so we can receive the local channels free.

Overall it really hasn't been much of an adjustment.  Alot of the shows the kids want to watch are available via NetFlix instant que that they watch through the Wii.  (You can do this with a Playstation as well.)  K & I don't watch many TV shows regularly, but those that we do we've been getting the full season delivered to our door.  So far we've gotten caught up on "House", and working our way through "Bones".  Next on the list is "Eureka" and "Stargate SG-1".  Also, got hooked on a BBC show "The Adventures of Merlin".  If there's any current episode we want to watch we can goto http://www.hulo.com/ and they keep about 6 wks worth of episodes.  Also, many of the networks put episodes out on the web.

As for movies we mainly watch those directly on our computer via Netflix.  However, we occasionally toss one in the mix to be delivered to our door.

I must confess that I do miss watching junk on the boob-tube while folding laundry - which is probably why I have over a weeks worth of clean laundry to sort and fold.  {sigh}

**Did want to mention that if you need help with all the techie stuff a friend's husband has started a blog with everything you ever wanted to know.  :)  Bonus is he's dumbed it down for idiots like myself!!
http://tech2090.blogspot.com/

B-I-N-G-O!!!

Not the game, nor the song, but T's imaginary friend.  Yes the name of his friend probably did come from the song since he and R had been singing it day's before.  However, that is neither here nor there....what matters is that my son took the top of an acorn put it on his finger and made a friend - literally.

Bingo was born at the S & T's school playground from one of the many acorns around from the huge Oak tree on a lovely Saturday afternoon.  Bingo survived T running around the playground and the grocery store.  We even bought ice cream since Bingo wanted some.  What kind of host would we have been had we not bought something our guest desired?!?!?

The original Bingo has disappeared.....but he has plenty of replacements in our front yard.

It's been 3wks since Bingo became my son's friend and he's around here and there....whenever T finds the top to an acorn.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!

Not that he reads this, but wanted to throw it out there.   He's 66....a young 66.

Jokingly told him "Happy 21st birthday" on last Friday when were down....and he said 66 sucks since he can't switch the numbers around to make himself younger like with 65 (aka 56).  My dad - a 66 yo smart ass.