Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Toddler's Guide.... (cont.)

Chapter 3: Start Small

Driving your parents insane should be approached very carefully. You should also know that these first few years will set the tone for the relationship you'll have with your parents for the rest of your life. You must go slow otherwise you will not get the desired results. In otherwords start smal. Literally do not take on any task bigger than yourself.

The following are good places to start, espeically for those 0-12mos.

1. Missing milestones. If you're the oldest missing milestones will frustrate and annoy your parents to no end. If you're the 2nd, etc definitely do not follow the same timeline as your older siblings - we gotta keep the 'rents on their toes. Just when they think they have us figured out we need to change the game. A very good example is my family. S (the oldest) started crawling at 10mos, and walked at 11mos. I came along (T) and decided to crawl around 11mos and not walk until 13mos. Then there's Baby A. (She took this to a whole new level.) Crawled at 6-7mos, and was walking at 12mos. So, even though you know you can roll over....hold out. The look on the 'rents face when you finally do is all worth it. Better yet, just forget about crawling and go straight to walking - that'll throw the 'rents for a real loop!!

2. Being different. Yeah, yeah - I know were all different. What I'm referring to is make sure you do just enough stuff like your siblings or so-and-so's kids to keep the 'rents happy, but you still gotta make your own path. I, S and R are not climbers.....but Baby A sure is. In other ways she similiar, but with her being a climber she's not. Remember it's all about keeping your parents on their toes. BTW - Baby A has really out done herself and I would even say has surpassed me in this department.

3. One thing. Pick that one thing that annoys the 'rents more than anything and continuously do it. You like to take your diaper off and run around naked - do it. No matter how many times you're told "no" - do it. Undressing in public your thing - go for it. Screaming because you can - make it loud. Throwing food - do it with meaning. (Okay, must point out don't do this until you've had your full.) What ever it is (and you know what it is) do it repeatedly and give it 110%. Plus you get the added bonus of doing something you've been told not to do!! Come on - be a rebel - you know you wanna!

4. Something unexpected, yet expected. By this I mean do something they wouldn't expect, but when they look back on the 'rents should've known you'd try or do it. Take this example from my own personal accomplishments: take the turtle out of the tank and set it free. Don't say anything, just let the 'rents or siblings discover the disappearance. In this instance the 'rents are repeatedly putting me in time out for playing in the tank, so you'd think they'd realize that eventually I'm going to get brave enough to actually take out a turtle and play with it. Apparently not. You see - 'rents like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think we're smarter than we really are. 'Rents haven't figured out that we probably won't get any common sense until we're well into our twenties....but God love 'em they are optimists which make us opportunists!

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