Toddler Dictionary

Over the years whenever my kids couldn't say something properly they'd make up their own word. So I don't forget here are the ones I remember and/or my favorites

kop-key = coffee (S)
kay-kay = pancakes (S)
butter = peanut butter and jelly sandwhich (T)
coffee = anything K or I drink that's in a can or coffee mug (T)
ma-dee = T's combination of mommy and daddy (and yes, we both answer)
la-la-loon = balloon (S)
zoom-zoom = car (S)
cake = anything that is cake or resembles cake (T)
down = up or down (A)
bay-kee = blankie (A)

The price you pay for eating dirt/mud. . .

. . . is a raging fever for 5 days, extremly stinky and runny poo, oh and a severly bad case of diaper rash.

Yup - T's at it again. At least alternating the Tylenol and Motrin is controlling his fever - but it's done nothing for his whinniness.

We had him tested for a few bugs - but nothing positive. I personally think it's a virus....probably one of those that the Health Dept would call us on if they knew.

Oh well - at least the fever seems to have broken and the diarreha has stopped......just need to get the diaper rash to clear up.

Did you know that clouds can cry?

Last Sunday we awoke around 8am to a pretty intense (if short lived) thunderstorm. T promptly tells me that "The clouds are crying". Ahhhhhhh - isn't that so cute and sweet. Well, it was until he informed me that they were crying because "You made the clouds mad mommy".

I seriously have no idea where the boy gets this stuff. Later after the storm had passed and the sun had come out he tells me "good morning mommy - it's daytime now". You see it was pretty dark - even at 8am - with all the cloud cover.

I love the boy to pieces....now if I could just get him to stop pissing himself.

When all else fails - check the deep freeze

. . . . . that is if you're looking for a lost cell phone.




I'm assuming I've now piqued your interest...let me elaborate: approximately 4 weeks ago goto the bread store, buy lots of bread, when leaving store shove phone in bag, when get home K takes bag to freezer and shoves whole thing in, next day can't find phone, call all weekend, assume it's lost and have it shut off, don't order new phone as we now have land line, 4 weeks later go to get loaf of bread from freezer and empty bag K put in earlier....and find phone.

Amazingly not only did it still work it actually had battery life left. Been using it for a week w/no problems. LG phones get a gold star in my book.

Can the Potty Train please stop at our house???

Hopefully it will this weekend. We've been slowly encouraging the boy after he went pee in the potty on his own last Sunday....not only once, but 3 times!!! He's even showing interest in preschool. So this Saturday I've decided that's it....to the bathroom we go every 30 minutes. Good thing it's supposed to rain/snow all day that day.

I've got the pull-ups out, big boy underware washed and ready, and plenty of towels ready. However, I think we may have to let Baby A try as well......especially after she insisted on sitting on the potty tonight.

Don't mind actually......I'm getting kinda giddy over the money we'll save on diapers!

On to child #2 with an IEP

IEP = Individual Education Plan

It really sucks that Biddy Boy (T) needs speech therapy as well as S. However, it really wasn't a surprise. Yes, his speech had improved since starting preshool, but we still can't always understand him and he'll be 4 here in 3mos. So he'll be getting 20 minutes of speech therpay M-R when at preschool to work on his pronunciation.

I am amazed that T has basically the same problem as S - even with completely different personalities. But why did they both have to inherit this from me? Yes, I too needed speech therpay....as well as my brother. Seriously here....why couldn't he inherited my cute butt....rather than his father's? (BTW - his father has no butt.)

Chant to self: focus on the positives, focus on the positives

Ahhh....another birthday has come and gone

My 37th to be specific. The closer I get to 40 the more I start reflecting on my life so far - especially if you believe the stats I've lived half my life already.

So, I've decided to pick one goal that I'd like to accomplish by the time I'm 40. The problem is I'm no sure what it should be. I know I'd love to lose some weight, start working out....but to be honest I know that won't happen I'm a born again couch potato. Then there's paying off debt...well our big debt will be paid off by then anyway so that's kinda cheating. I've got my professional career to think about. Maybe some training?? I just don't know.

Maybe by my 40th birthday I'll have figured it out?

Curious Georgette strikes again!!

Yes, I did have to get her out. Didn't stop her from getting in there 3 more times that night. At least the cake pans were safe for a night.

Gender Differences ? ?

T and Baby A are exactly 2 yrs appart (okay 1yr 355 days to be exact). Noticed lately that T's really into playing/caring for one of the 4 baby dolls we have around the house. T wants to feed them, bathe them, and even change them....but when it comes to carrying them any old way will do. Baby A on the other hand will always wrap her arm around the baby doll's belly (you know, just under the arms), but has no desire for the feeding, bathing and changing.

I've been really wondering if this is a girl vs boy thing or just their personality since Baby A is very observant while T - not so much. Especially since T and A treat the cat the same way. T just picks poor Squeakers up any old way, but Baby A picks him up the same way she does her baby doll.

BTW - did I mention we have a cat? Orange Tom cat named Squeakers - soon to be an it. For now he's an indoor cat.

Sometimes the boy just amazes me

We have this old crappy computer that the older two boys use to play games. (Lately it's Lego StarWars.) Anyhoo - T or Baby A some how removed a few keys from the keyboard and whoever put them back didn't put them back in the correct spaces.

K was all ready to ground the boys from the computer when he saw S taking off the keys and putting them back on. Come to find out he was fixing it. The boy is 7 - and already knows the placing of the keys on the key board. I did a quick check of course and he put them back in the correct spots. Needless to say I was amazed at this ability....and of course he was happy to not get in trouble.

FWIW - I would like to point out that I did have R confirm S's story.....per R "He was fixin' the keyboard".

Update of Sorts

Isn't it funny how life seems to get in the way of your life? Anyhoo - here are a few updates.

1. Baby A is 16.5mos old....where the hell did the time go?! She's doing soo much more at this age than any of the boys I sometimes forget how young she really is. She's still on the petite side - but trust me you wouldn't know it the way she wrestles w/the boys. (At some point I'm going to have to stop referring to her as Baby.)

2. T - is a monkey as always. He's going to preschool 4 days a week for 3hrs a day. It's done wonders for his speech and behavior at home and he's only been going a month. Good thing is that he'll be automatically enrolled next year. The year after is still up in the air...not sure he'll be starting K the Fall of 2010 or if we'll wait until Fall 2011. Really depends on if the evals from preschool and our gut feelings tell us if he's ready or not.

3. R - started K at a private school this fall. Due to his birthday and the cut-offs for public he wouldn't be able to attend until next Fall (2009). I definitely think he has the smarts and knowledge to be in K, but his maturity level is severly behind. Luckily the state requires him to go through 1st in private as well before testing for placement in public.

4. S - in 1st grade and will be the big 7 tomorrow. We had a harry start to school - hitting, trouble keeping his hands to himself - but we changed his meds and all seems better now. However, his anal retentiveness about rule following is about to drive us batty - he thinks it's his job to correct everyone rather than just tell on them. Oh well - Parent-Teacher Conferences are this week so we'll find out how he's really doing.

5. K - he's doing good. Still doing the SAHD gig for now. He's hoping this Spring to get a job a couple nights a week. Then again that's if my work schedule will allow for it. Either way he's looking forward to the Fall of 2010 when Baby A is eligible for preschool.

6. Me - well, work has been nuts. Back in March 2008 got a new boss and things aren't going as planned. Apparently regardless of my performance in the past I'm starting over and must prove myself. I'm going to have to start working from home at night after the kids are in bed, and possibly even some weekends. This just totally bites. What I hate the most is that I love what I do, but apparently I haven't earned the trust of the new boss so every move I make is being scrutinized.

Hmmm....that's it - will try and take a picture tomorrow of the birthday boy. Can't believe how big he is...before I know it I'll have a teenager on my hands.

Oreo Moment

Last night in honor of Labor Day weekend we went all out and grilled up some steaks and hot dogs. (Steaks for us, hot dogs for the kids.) While at the store picking up the fixin's for dinner I grabed two things of Oreo's per R's request. I get home and the first thing the kids want are Oreos and milk. I gave them each an Oreo with the understanding that they could have more after dinner.

If you haven't seen a package of Oreos lately they're having this "Oreo Moment" contest where you record your Oreo moment and submit it on youtube.com. Anyhoo - working on dinner, etc I notice the cookie remains of an Oreo cookie on the floor. Come to find out, T - who just turned 3 and hasn't had many Oreo type cookies - just ate the filling. To confirm this I gave all the kids another cookie and low 'n behold T just ate the filling and ignored the cookie part. Asked him to eat it and I repeatedly got told "No, yucky! Trash!". So off to the trash they went.

Thinking T's pretty smart I tell K only to come to the realization that the boy watches way to much TV. (Damn commercials!!)

So which minority will win?

Even if you don't keep up with politics (and personally I really don't), you'd have to live under a rock in the middle of nowhere to no know that regardless of which side wins - Republicans or Democrats - a minority will win as well.

So - will this come down to a race of do we want a woman VP or a black President? It shall be interesting - especially on how the media will handle this. Just maybe once they will remember what journalism is all about and just report the truth and exercise some common sense before they hand in that piece of shit they call a story to their editor.

Being an Independent I was prepared to vote for Obama. I can't believe all the mistakes McCain has made in his speeches are due to his staff - something just doesn't seem right. And his choice of a "young" candidate for VP seems to prove my point. Banking on the young VP to handle anything should something happen to McCain.

Regardless of who wins I'm just proud of America for having made it this far - not that we still don't have a long way to go - but at least my kids will grow-up in a time where at least one minority made it into the White House.

Toddler's Guide.... (cont.)

Chapter 3: Start Small



Driving your parents insane should be approached very carefully. You should also know that these first few years will set the tone for the relationship you'll have with your parents for the rest of your life. You must go slow otherwise you will not get the desired results. In otherwords start smal. Literally do not take on any task bigger than yourself.



The following are good places to start, espeically for those 0-12mos.

1. Missing milestones. If you're the oldest missing milestones will frustrate and annoy your parents to no end. If you're the 2nd, etc definitely do not follow the same timeline as your older siblings - we gotta keep the 'rents on their toes. Just when they think they have us figured out we need to change the game. A very good example is my family. S (the oldest) started crawling at 10mos, and walked at 11mos. I came along (T) and decided to crawl around 11mos and not walk until 13mos. Then there's Baby A. (She took this to a whole new level.) Crawled at 6-7mos, and was walking at 12mos. So, even though you know you can roll over....hold out. The look on the 'rents face when you finally do is all worth it. Better yet, just forget about crawling and go straight to walking - that'll throw the 'rents for a real loop!!



2. Being different. Yeah, yeah - I know were all different. What I'm referring to is make sure you do just enough stuff like your siblings or so-and-so's kids to keep the 'rents happy, but you still gotta make your own path. I, S and R are not climbers.....but Baby A sure is. In other ways she similiar, but with her being a climber she's not. Remember it's all about keeping your parents on their toes. BTW - Baby A has really out done herself and I would even say has surpassed me in this department.

3. One thing. Pick that one thing that annoys the 'rents more than anything and continuously do it. You like to take your diaper off and run around naked - do it. No matter how many times you're told "no" - do it. Undressing in public your thing - go for it. Screaming because you can - make it loud. Throwing food - do it with meaning. (Okay, must point out don't do this until you've had your full.) What ever it is (and you know what it is) do it repeatedly and give it 110%. Plus you get the added bonus of doing something you've been told not to do!! Come on - be a rebel - you know you wanna!

4. Something unexpected, yet expected. By this I mean do something they wouldn't expect, but when they look back on the 'rents should've known you'd try or do it. Take this example from my own personal accomplishments: take the turtle out of the tank and set it free. Don't say anything, just let the 'rents or siblings discover the disappearance. In this instance the 'rents are repeatedly putting me in time out for playing in the tank, so you'd think they'd realize that eventually I'm going to get brave enough to actually take out a turtle and play with it. Apparently not. You see - 'rents like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think we're smarter than we really are. 'Rents haven't figured out that we probably won't get any common sense until we're well into our twenties....but God love 'em they are optimists which make us opportunists!

Toddler's Guide to Driving Your Parents Insane

Chapter 1: Introduction

Hi, my name is T, and I just turned 3 on June 10th. I have two older 1/2 brothers, S (6.5yo) and R (almost 5yo) and one younger sister, Baby A ( 1yo). My Daddy stays home and watches me and my sister. He does a pretty good job, and this book is written in part because I did have this time at home with dear ol' dad to hone and perfect my techniques. Enjoy the reading and if I've helped one future toddler out there this was all worth it. (And no my sister doesn't count!)


Chapter 2: The Basics

Before one starts to drive the 'rents insane you must learn these few techinques I've picked up for getting out of trouble or at least lessening the punishment.
1. Cry everytime you're told no, spanked, sent to time out, or hand is slapped, etc. Really play this up as it makes the 'rents feel extremly guilty. Sometimes you can get the added bonus of entertaining them which in return they get so happy the forget why they were mad at you in the first place. WARNING: Do not turn this into a temper tantrum or it will back fire and you'll be in more trouble than when you started. Whinning, etc is also not tolerated well by the 'rents.

2. Play up your natural cuteness. Got those gorgeous blue eyes - work 'em baby. Beautiful curly locks - don't let them cut your hair. Heart melting smile - melt away baby! You get the idea - work with what you got 'cause this cuteness only lasts so long. Trust me on this one....I'm on the downside of cute....once you hit 4 it's all over.

3. The big bottom lip. This one is crucial. The more you stick it out the better results you'll get. Seriously here. I thought I had this mastered, but my sister has taken this to new lengths. I now get in trouble for taking back a toy that she originally took from me when that lip comes out. The 'rents get sooo distracted by that thing they forget who did what to whom so it's automatically assumed I was being the bully.

4. Hugs & Kisses. Really do I need to elaborate. The 'rents live for these. Oh, and toss in an "I love you" and you're golden. Oh, and not only do this to the 'rents, but grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, and especially siblings!

cont.

Next installment coming soon!

Random Thoughts

*T has decided that his answer to everything is "no" or "nope". Better yet, we got "I'm gonna kick your butt" the other day. Where does this child come up with this stuff?

*Sibling bickering - it's already started between Baby A and T. I thought I had a few more years, but nope Baby A has decided that whatever someone else has it is hers and she must take it. And she's strong in body and will. Right now the biggest battles are over sippy cups and blankies.

*How to keep your kids outside: tell them that if they come in they'll have to clean. :D Yup, told this to S, R, and T on Sunday when it was a georgeous 80 degrees out. Guess what - they chose to be outside rather than pick-up their toys. Go figure.

*The dog. She's great with the kids, but the chewing has got to STOP! She's ruined approximately $200 in toys, etc around the house. What's worse is that she's now taken to grabing dirty laundry to chew on. K is looking into training for her.

*2 1/2 weeks!!! How much time left of S's summer vacation w/DSSD. Can not wait. However, not looking forward to undoing all the bad habits he acquired there. Good thing is that I've got two weeks before school starts to undo them all.

Summer Sucks

I only say that as S is at DSSD's until the 3rd of August. I do have a week of vacation with him, but choose to take it the week before I get him back hoping that would be enough time (2 weeks before school starts) to undo the bad habits from Daddy's.

Anyhoo - the low point hit last night when T woke up crying and wondering around the house at 3am yelling S's name. I finally got him calmed down and asked him if he misses S - "Yeeass" was the response. At that point I started to cry a little too, but successfully got him back into bed.

Can't believe I have at least 11 more summers of this shit. :(

You think you live in the big city until . . .

. . .your dog goes out in your backyard at 5am and beats the crap out of a raccoon. Luckily Lady only has a few scratches, but there's blood all over our back porch and the poor critter is in a corner in our back yard on it's last leg. K is to call Animal Control this morning at 8am. Hopefully they'll be able to come out and do something.

Why can't he just listen to me?

I'll admit I'm not the most technically savey person out there, but I know just enough to be dangerous and get by. Anyhoo - Monday (June 30th) we got in our replacement router for the computer. (The old one had died and Linksys, aka Cisco, replaced it for free. There's a good reason to register your electronics!!) Took me about 30 minutes to hook-up both computers. Played a couple of on-line games and all was well.

Then yesterday K, aka DumbAss, was having problems with the program he uses to talk to other players in one of the games he plays on-line. Rather than listening to me, I told him not to do anything and let me fix something first, he just goes ahead and changes what some guy told him. You guessed it - he disabled the router. Right as I was in the middle of chat with someone at Linksys get answers on fixing our router connection.

Luckily for him after all the problems we had with the last router I knew how to reset it, etc. Did that, unistalled everything on both computers related to the router, and took another 30 minutes to re-hook-up everything. Guess what - the little program that wasn't working properly before works fine now.