Monday, April 23, 2007

Why can't he be a father rather than fun-daddy????

No, this isn't a post about K, but about my ex-H C. C moved 3 weeks ago (slowly) into a new house about 15 minutes away from us. I called him twice to tell him he needs to talk to Stephen about how great the new house is, how it's okay to be sad about leaving the old house, and how neat his new bedroom will be. Unfortunately Stephen's behavior the last 3 weeks speak to the contrary.

It's not that he's having horribly bad days.......but there are bad episodes. With his ADHD he does not like change, and it will ruffle his feathers. BUT if you explain and talk about it he will do much better than he has been. I've been trying to talk to him about it, but I'm not the one that moved - his father did. Don't get me wrong it helps - but he needs to hear those encouraging and comforting words from his father as well - if not more so.

Why can't the man just grow up and be a father? He's not helping Stephen one bit and everything I say or do just gets ignored. (Like getting Stephen to bed at a decent hour.....the boy's lucky to be in bed by 10pm at his dad's, but at our house he's in bed no later than 8:45pm.) Of course I get to be the "bad" guy and make Stephen do all the things he doesn't like.

Seriously here - the boy is 5 1/2 yo. He can dress himself, bathe himself (mostly), do chores, etc......yet at his father's house his dad just does everything for the boy because it's easier and faster - but it's not better. How else is the boy to learn to become a self-sufficent adult if Daddy does everything for him?

Okay - enough ranting now......oh, and if you care I give the same lecture to K about Raymond. Keith - be 'fun-daddy' and your boy will end up like my ex-H. Amazing how quick he's tried to turn that around and be a real father to his child. At least Stephen has to good male role models in his life: Keith and my father.

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