Tuesday, April 22, 2008


We've all uttered those words at one time or another to our parents......most likely our mothers. I myself have been on the receiving end of that phrase more than once. Yet I'm not really bothered by it.

Seriously - I'm not. I've been trying to figure out why that is, then it hit me - there's something much worse that S can say to me than "I hate you". It's something along the lines of: "I want to go live with Daddy".

That's my ultimate fear - "Fun Daddy" winning. I know it's not a competition, but throughout this whole divorce/custody thing I feel like I'm being punished for being the responsible adult and parent in the whole ordeal.

As the end of school approaches the more I'm reminded that S will be spending all summer with "Fun Daddy". Yeah I'll get to see him every other weekend - but what happens when he's back with me full time in the Fall? What bad behavior are we going to have to un-do? How many times will I hear "I hate it here, I want to stay with Daddy"? And will my heart ever mend after he utters those words?

K would tell me I'm getting myself worked up over nothing and he's right. Why worry about it now when I can't do anything about it until it's all said and done? But I do worry because I'm a mother and it's what we do best besides unconditionally love our children.

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